Sonntag, 15. Juli 2012

Reframing PU Jargon

Below is a list of concepts that I picked up (npi) in PU, reframed in a way to actually make them productive and useful:



Believe it or not, you are allowed to tease girls. They won't explode, call the police, or otherwise harm you. Instead, they'll like you for your sense of humor.

It is fully okay to feel your sexuality as a male, and to behave in such a way as to make it shown.

Your gaze is no cause for discomfort. It is not harrassment to look at a woman and be sexually aroused by that view.

When women say things that sound like an insult, chances are they are just teasing you back the same way you teased them before. They're equally playful, sexual, and mischievous as you are - and, for the most part, in a good way. It is possible to tell the teasing from an actual insult.

If a woman insults you, it is perfectly fine to just walk away, or otherwise let her feel that she wronged you. You are a human being, you have feelings too!

It is useless to chase after a girl after she has seriously and convincingly told you to shove off and go do it yourself.

There is always another girl just around the corner.

Falling in love is okay. Just be aware that it doesn't magically turn the object of your desire into an innocent angel. She can and will fart in bed.

No rule of PU is a "law of nature". They're all just adhoc hypotheses without any scientific value. Therefore, you should always apply a sense of humor to them, and never take them too seriously.

You can approach after three seconds; or after three minutes; or three hours. It really doesn't matter.

A seduction can take any amount of time between 10 minutes and 10 years. It really doesn't matter.

Getting over anxieties may take long periods of practice, and require you to find or even invent techniques that you currently don't know or believe in. I'm talking months and years here. It is perfectly sensible to decide that you do not want to follow a goal that is so far away into the future and requires so much effort - a little reality-check and cost-benefit-analysis can spare you lots of trouble.

Once you DID decide to go down the PUA route, be aware that it may be too late to turn around. The chance of overcoming your anxieties and tearing down the boundaries of your personality can be a very addictive dangling carrot.

NLP is, to some degree, a fun and useful toolset - it is definitely not a golden bullet that will magically get the women you desire into your bed. The best way to use it is to be very relaxed and cool about it, have lots of fun in the process and never overdo it. When you realize that you are becoming stiff and dogmatic about it, it might be best to just let it go for a while and do something else instead. This goes not only for NLP, but for all techniques and tools that you may encounter.

You are your own guru, coach, trainer and boss!

If a technique doesn't work for you, then all that means that the technique doesn't work for you. It does not reflect on your personality or your abilities. "Technique" is just a fancy way of saying "stuff that somebody on the interwebs came up with, that seemed to work for them at one moment in time, without any actual empirical testing in place". Techniques are never perfect and often just lame.




(This list will be amended in the future.)

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